Sometimes a person is stubborn enough to not heed advices and make the wrong move until the finally get bitten by the predator.As far as concerned I am trying to make a point here from what I am obviously going through. Trying to entangle the mystery that you have in store for me. I hate solving problems, mysteries, but I ought to say, I can't for this. I have to. I have to understand the situation. It came crashing down to me. I was over confident. I thought it could be a change. I did my part I gave a chace, and thats all that there was. It seemed to turn out well after the start but what everyone used to say, it doesn't run smooth all the way.There are bound to be broken edges. I put that aside and kept walking with an eye closed. Only to make me trip and fall on concrete. What you gave me now and then is like a public road. A road can be filled with objects that trip you. Even if you were careful enough, there i this something that would at least distract you. And the same goes for me. There was so many things i didn't look much into. Even if I tried so hard to not let other's persuation get through what I think of you, there was always something that made me feel uneasy. One difference, a road is the same anywhere everywhere, but you're different, there could've been exceptions. And one big exception was that I thought you would not put everything about your life together as one. But you had to now. I sound like its my fault. But truth is, I feel that I am at fault to. I haven't been much of a shoulder that you could lean on, a good listener. But I was a faithful lover to you. Many people have trust issues with faith. I have trust issues with stability. You have trust issues with things said but not being done. And I suffer from sheer paranoia due to the phobia that has been engulfed in me. For the past years of dating and courtship, I admit I was playful, I am a playful person. But i did want to change for the better, and am slowly trying to. But all seems like I don't have to now, cos I am not given a chance to have a reason to prove so. I thought everything was going alright, the plans, the dreams and wishes. All that I have looked forward to. Would just be a thing of the past. I didn't have to be and didn't want to be a pain, a control freak like what u might have just felt. I didn't mean any harm. I didn't mean for it to be this way. I didn't want to end this way.So many didn't(s) but its been done. I'll have to find my own solution. I hope its just goodnight and not goodbye.

You can fall in love in an instant.
It's letting go that takes time.
Even when I pour my heart out to you,
I'm not sure it shows,
that I love you more than you'll ever know.

Better never to have met you in my dream
than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.
I wish I had the guts
to walk away from what we had.
But I can't
Because I know you wouldn't come after me
and that's what hurts the most.

A broken heart is a heart that has felt love.
 

I may have ripped these from somewhere, but its all the i feel now.
Thanks for that much a time.
See you around buddy.